Monday, January 3, 2011

The "Whys....."

Well since I made the "big" facebook announcement yesterday, I have gotten a lot of support, blessings, congrats, you're awesome, I can't believe it and everything else...and with that comes the "Why are you doing this?"   So here it goes, the best I can answer. 

I started thinking about surrogacy many years ago, even before my daughter was born.   I did research, however, and found out you cannot be a surrogate without having a child of your own..which makes much sense!!  So I left it alone for years.  After having my daughter, it was my second mother's day with her and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I sat down and actually cried thinking there are some people who may never get to experience the joy, happiness, blessings, laughter, the ups and downs and everything else that comes with being a parent.    I could not imagine this.  No my pregnancy wasn't planned, I wasn't married, I wasn't in the best relationship to say the least, but God gave me this child for a reason.  He blessed me and continues to bless me every day with my amazing daughter.  Yes, I want more kids one day, whether I give birth to them or adopt them, I do plan to have at least one more child.   Whether I marry or not, I will have another child.  It is a goal of mine and I will accomplish it, but for now, I'm LOVING having Taylen and admiring her every day.  The thought of people not getting this experience blows me away.  So once again, I found myself doing research on being a surrogate mother.  The few people I told that I wanted to do this was like "are you sure?  How can you give up your child?"  Well for one this child is not mine.  I know I could never give up my own child, however, this child is not in any way, shape or form, related to me.  I knew this going into it and sometimes I have to remind myself, but at the end of the day, I am preparing myself the best way I know how to.  The dr. appts. are different, the feelings are different, everything about this is different and this is how I imagined it would go.  There are not a lot of things that I'm good at.  I'm not a crafty person, I'm not a creative person, I'm a VERY unorganized person, I am a  procrastinator, I don't save well and spend a lot, and the list goes on.  However, what I am good at and what I enjoy the most in life is being a mother.  Being able to wake up everyday to my daughter and going to bed every night with her thanking God for giving me such a beautiful child and blessing me is what I'm good at.  I was good at being pregnant.  I am good at "giving".  To give and watch someone receive is something I enjoy very much.  I enjoy making people happy and helping out in any way I can.  Don't get me wrong, I've gotten taken advantage of many times for this and gotten hurt on several occassions for being "too nice" however, I wouldn't change a thing about my life.  Everything I've been thru has made me who I am today.  My parents were amazing to us kids growing up and still are the most amazing people I know and they are the reason I am who I am today.  So to give someone such a blessing, to be able to make someone happy, to be able to give them the joy of a child and a lifetime of happiness and experiences is why I'm doing this.  It's not for the "attention" or money or any reason except to share in this life experience.  I feel like God called me to do this and I pray every night that things will go smoothly and that I will have a lifelong relationship with my IP's and this new child I'm bringing in to the world.  I pray that nothing goes wrong and that we all experience the true meaning and blessings from this.   To some it will never make sense and others will get it one day, but I seriously can't thank you enough for the support and kind words you have given to me.  I don't feel like I'm anymore "special" than the next person and certainly don't feel like I should be praised anymore than the next person.  People are good at different things and I always wondered why I didn't get any talent, but maybe this is my talent and maybe this is why it's all working out so well for me.  Forgive me...I think I have just rambled and hope this all makes sense. Love you all. Happy New Year!!!

7 comments:

Krystal said...

Good post!

Andrea said...

It makes perfect sense!! Great post!! =)

Jill said...

Oh my lordhavemercy. Why did you have to make me cry, AGAIN?! So thankful for your words. I know your IP is too. :)

Mommy with Many Gifts said...

I LOVE it!! There is no exact reason why. That's what makes people like us perfect surrogates... it's more than a reason, it's a feeling. You take the words right out of my mouth =)

mychelle414 said...

How can this not be the best gift you could give someone? You're amazing and I hope that I can do the same soon, you've inspired me to do the same. I always knew I wanted do this for someone.

rarejule said...

Congrats on your decision to be a surrogate and show the world how much a difference one person can make!!

A said...

I can relate to so much of this post. Well put. :)