Monday, January 24, 2011

What an Awesome Weekend

We went on Friday to hear the baby heartbeat and just for a routine visit.  This time both parents got to come...even though it was a pretty boring visit.  LOL  The heartbeat was 150 and every time they would start to hear it the baby would move away.  Probably spent 5-10 min. trying to get him to slow down.  Then on Saturday was the "BIG" day.  We went to breakfast first and then on to have a 3D/4D sono done.  I didn't have one with Taylen so this was just as exciting for me.  Man...this place was awesome.  Two big comfy couches to sit on and a nice big lounge for the "Mom" to lay on and about a 60 in'' screen TV to watch the baby move.    It was nicer than most living rooms.   We got lots of pics and a video and just watched HIM, yes, I've been right all along, its A BOY, move and kick.  He was putting his hands in his mouth, yawning, kicking, turning all around.  It was pretty amazing!!!!!!  My IPs are so excited.  They wanted a boy so I'm just thrilled for them.   They are keeping the name in the family and all of the dad's side initials are CHJ so lil' boy will have those initials too.  I know the name, but not sure if they want me to reveal his name on here yet, so I will keep it quiet for now.  If people in Dallas area want a good recommendation for 3D/4D, we went to Blooming Baby - - and they were amazing.  So nice and just a very good experience.    Anyways, on the way home my IPs bought an embroidery sewing machine and that evening Mom was already texting me pictures of stuff she made.  So, so sweet.  I'm just thrilled for them.  I know I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it 1000 more times, but I totally lucked out with such awesome IPs and the love we all have for each other is indescribable.  So lucky and blessed!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

15 weeks

Whoa - 15 weeks today and a big ol' belly to show for it!!!  I don't know what it is but today I feel huge!!!  We go to the dr. next week to check in and see how this baby is growing.  After so many dr. appointments since July, now all of a sudden 5 weeks without a dr. appointment and I feel lost.  I feel like I need to go every 2 weeks like I was in the beginning.   I actually kind of miss being poked and prodded and seeing/hearing the baby.   I need reassurance that he is ok.  I was feeling moving a few weeks back, but haven't felt much since, but if my belly has anything to say, that baby is just fine.  Anyways, I'll let ya'll know how the dr. appointment goes.  Meeting with my IP's on Saturday for brunch and to exchange Christmas gifts since we haven't gotten together since before the holidays.  Looking forward to it and seeing them..always fun haning out.  Taylen is excited too..she loves them!!!!

Monday, January 3, 2011

The "Whys....."

Well since I made the "big" facebook announcement yesterday, I have gotten a lot of support, blessings, congrats, you're awesome, I can't believe it and everything else...and with that comes the "Why are you doing this?"   So here it goes, the best I can answer. 

I started thinking about surrogacy many years ago, even before my daughter was born.   I did research, however, and found out you cannot be a surrogate without having a child of your own..which makes much sense!!  So I left it alone for years.  After having my daughter, it was my second mother's day with her and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I sat down and actually cried thinking there are some people who may never get to experience the joy, happiness, blessings, laughter, the ups and downs and everything else that comes with being a parent.    I could not imagine this.  No my pregnancy wasn't planned, I wasn't married, I wasn't in the best relationship to say the least, but God gave me this child for a reason.  He blessed me and continues to bless me every day with my amazing daughter.  Yes, I want more kids one day, whether I give birth to them or adopt them, I do plan to have at least one more child.   Whether I marry or not, I will have another child.  It is a goal of mine and I will accomplish it, but for now, I'm LOVING having Taylen and admiring her every day.  The thought of people not getting this experience blows me away.  So once again, I found myself doing research on being a surrogate mother.  The few people I told that I wanted to do this was like "are you sure?  How can you give up your child?"  Well for one this child is not mine.  I know I could never give up my own child, however, this child is not in any way, shape or form, related to me.  I knew this going into it and sometimes I have to remind myself, but at the end of the day, I am preparing myself the best way I know how to.  The dr. appts. are different, the feelings are different, everything about this is different and this is how I imagined it would go.  There are not a lot of things that I'm good at.  I'm not a crafty person, I'm not a creative person, I'm a VERY unorganized person, I am a  procrastinator, I don't save well and spend a lot, and the list goes on.  However, what I am good at and what I enjoy the most in life is being a mother.  Being able to wake up everyday to my daughter and going to bed every night with her thanking God for giving me such a beautiful child and blessing me is what I'm good at.  I was good at being pregnant.  I am good at "giving".  To give and watch someone receive is something I enjoy very much.  I enjoy making people happy and helping out in any way I can.  Don't get me wrong, I've gotten taken advantage of many times for this and gotten hurt on several occassions for being "too nice" however, I wouldn't change a thing about my life.  Everything I've been thru has made me who I am today.  My parents were amazing to us kids growing up and still are the most amazing people I know and they are the reason I am who I am today.  So to give someone such a blessing, to be able to make someone happy, to be able to give them the joy of a child and a lifetime of happiness and experiences is why I'm doing this.  It's not for the "attention" or money or any reason except to share in this life experience.  I feel like God called me to do this and I pray every night that things will go smoothly and that I will have a lifelong relationship with my IP's and this new child I'm bringing in to the world.  I pray that nothing goes wrong and that we all experience the true meaning and blessings from this.   To some it will never make sense and others will get it one day, but I seriously can't thank you enough for the support and kind words you have given to me.  I don't feel like I'm anymore "special" than the next person and certainly don't feel like I should be praised anymore than the next person.  People are good at different things and I always wondered why I didn't get any talent, but maybe this is my talent and maybe this is why it's all working out so well for me.  Forgive me...I think I have just rambled and hope this all makes sense. Love you all. Happy New Year!!!