Friday, May 6, 2011

Not Surrogacy Related....well kind of...

I just needed somewhere to write and more for my own sake then anyone else's but if you read this great, if not, I don't care!! LOL   I follow a lot of surrogates, some IPs, some infertile couples or couples who are still in the process of trying to have a baby and actually some blogs just about family and some people are so positive no matter what and others, well they are completely negative no matter what.  I don't understand people who are negative all day, every day no matter what comes their way.  It's like if they won the lottery, they would still find the negative in it.  I don't get it.  I'm a happy, upbeat, positive, cup is always half-full type of person and no matter what comes my way, I try to find the good in it.  I know everyone is not like this and I also realize I have been VERY BLESSED in life and not a lot of BAD things have happened to me in my life.  I've lost grandparents in the past, but never an immediate family member, never a best friend, never a child, never a parent and if I had, maybe my life would be different, maybe I would view things differently. I hope not, but I can't say because I have never had that experience.  But I don't think I will ever understand all the negativity and anger people have in life.  I have been reading alot about people who have babies via surrogacy and then they complain about how their child acts or how their schedules have been complicated and I want to yell at them and say you have waited all your life for this child and now all you do is complain about them.  I don't get it and never will!!!!  I have been BLESSED by God with my daughter.  She is the absolute joy in my life and whether she was planned or not (she wasn't at all) I try not to take one moment with her for granted.   We laugh together, we cry together, we yell at each other and we tell each other at least 10 times a day how much we love each other.  Yeah, she might get on my nerves sometimes. Sometimes I wish I had family close by that I could drop her off at to get a night by myself or that her dad was more involved and took her some nights, but I don't have that.  I have her 24/7 with me except for when I'm at work and she's at daycare.   But I'm ok with that.  I try not to complain and I try to be the best mom I can even when I'm tired, stressed or upset about something.  I don't show that side to her and I would NEVER tell her that I wish she would go away or how sometimes I wish I could have some alone time, or that she's "bothering" me and/or my schedule.  Instead I tell her how awesome she is, what an amazing little girl she is and how blessed I am to have her in my life.  She's 3 and trust me, she understands every bit of what I'm saying.  She understands every emotion that I have.  She knows when I'm upset and she tells me it will be ok.  She, out of nowhere, says mommy I love you so much and I want to hug you.  She's the BEST THING IN MY LIFE and for her I'm so thankful.  So to all the parents out there, I pray that you really understand how blessed we are to be raising these kids.  To all the people who want kids but don't have them yet, I pray that you get to experience this blessing and pray that you will treat every moment with that child like its your last.  I pray that no matter your "status", you live every day to the best and that you try to make the negative a positive, because trust me, life is a much happier place when you are happy and positive than when you are down.  I've been down before, I've been depressed before but I still tried to find the positives.  I knew it wouldn't be like that forever, I knew there were better days ahead and there were and I can honestly say, I'm the happiest I have been in a long time.  I don't have it "all" by any means. I don't have the house, the husband, the best car, or a truck load of money, but I do have an amazing family, I have the best friends a girl could want, I have a beautiful, healthy daughter who makes me laugh every single day, a great job (which is hard to come by these days), I'm healthy and I'm carrying a healthy baby boy for some of the most amazing IPs and who are going to love this lil man to death and who will be 2 awesome parents!!!!  I'm happy and I pray for everyone else's happiness....that's my rant for the day!! LOL Be happy people...u only live life once!

7 comments:

RebekahRose said...

I couldn't have said it better!! :)

Jeni said...

Amen sista! :-)

Jesse said...

Right on, girl!

Therese and Bush said...

Hope you have an amazing mother's day! What a very special one this will be! Enjoy every minute!
xoxo,
T

Krystal said...

Happiness is over rated.
I'M KIDDING! Lol. Great post! Can't wait to meet this Sunday...I dont care if there's a tornado, WE WILL MEET! LOL. And maybe once we get to know each other more, your daughter can stay over for a while with my girls and give you some "free" time! You won't know what to do with yourself! :-)

Jeff and Kevin said...

I love it. I do tend to be glass half full sometimes but then Jeff gives me a hard swift kick to the ass saying get over it. You have a beautiful little girl and I can't wait to have such a close relationship with our child too :)
K

A womb for rent said...

Thank you so much for your kind words. I only know 1 surrogate personally. And she is also in the process and has never carried. So its very nice to know I have someone I can ask questions to. Thank you so much!!!! Congrats on you getting so close!!!