I have a real issue when people ask me "how much are you getting paid?" or "are you getting paid?" or say something like..."man, you will be set now, huh?!!" First of all, you don't ask any person with a normal job if they are getting paid or how much they are making...do you? At least I don't. Secondly, yes there is compensation for this "job" but if you add it up and divide it by 24/7 for approximately 12 months because you usally start the meds about 2 months before you get pregnant and then in case no has figured it out, not sure why they call it 9 mnths because you are technically pregnant 10 months, throw in there all the things you put on hold, all of the "inconveniences" you may or may not put your family thru, i.e. children, husband, or whoever else that helps out, all the possible risks that come with pregnancy, and then the aftermath of the "unknown", then I'm pretty sure it equals out to about $1-2 a day....who would "work" for that...pretty sure no one!!!
On another note, I don't think it's all the "public's" fault either because on some agency websites where you sign up to be a surrogate or intended parent or do the research, they make it sound like we get all this money. They have testimonies on there about what the surrogate did with her money or how much it helped out the surrogate's family which I don't really agree with either. A lot of people think surrogates are low class, money hungry girls just trying to make an "easy" dollar. However, I'm here to tell you I DEFINITELY don't fit into that class and all other surrogate blogs I follow don't either. We are all working mothers who enjoy being pregnant and who want to help another couple become a family. We must be a little crazy in some way too because who would want to "give up" their own child. Well we aren't crazy and we don't give up "our" child....it's all about Love and helping out. That's what I'm doing it for. I'm doing for the passion I have for kids, for all the love I have to give, to help out in a way many people will never understand and to be able to give the gift of life. So yes, we get compensated, but please don't be that person that asks how much or make snide comments on how much we must be making. Go do some research, find out for yourself if you want to know. There are plenty of helpful sites out there. Ok, that's my rant for the day....thanks for reading!!! LOL
6 comments:
Shut the front door!!! The lack of social awareness that so many people have mystifies me...MYSTIFIES ME!!! How is any of this anyone's business? Who feels that it is OK to ask? Just because someone is sharing a chapter of their story with you does not mean you are entitled to the the whole book. Ugh!!!
Let me just re-iterate it is FAR from "easy money"... that annoys me so much. Yes, compensation is usually a part of surrogacy, and yes the IPs and surrogate need to be on the same page about it but beyond them it is NOT anyone else's business! I had an RE say something about it being "lucrative" for me... after I picked my jaw up off the floor I switched the person I was seeing after that day... the perception even some within the field have of comp amazes me!
AMEN sista! I can not believe that people have come up to you and said that. Shocked! Sitting here with my mouth wide open...Honestly did not even think about that until you wrote it tonight but I guess I know you for who you are...one amazing and giving person! xoxo, Therese
love this! I had to share this post, hope you don't mind. But i want to scream sometimes when people ask me about the money. ERRR!!!
VERY well said!
I still get asked this even 7 months after I had the triplets. So be prepared in case you continue to have annoying people confront you about the compensation after it's all over. And for me, since I was pregnant with 3, people assumed I would be "set for life." People really think I could buy a house from it or something! If they knew half of the emotional and physical pain I went through, they would understand that no amount of money could make up for it all. I didn't do it for the money, yet many people assume that I did still to this day. All that matters is what you feel and how you handle the situation. Sometimes I just find it easy to lie and tell people I did it for a friend and no money was involved. That really gets people thinking. Or you can just tell them to f off!!!
Post a Comment